Just Say'n....

A great friend, to whom I have to give due credit, said these two words one day.... "Just Sayin" - and yeah, I stole it... Good and dang stole it, right out from under him. But not only did I steal it, I managed to get all of my friends to use it. In everyday language, and all over the internet. So much so, that now, my dear friend, feels he can never use his own beautiful saying again. I suppose I owe him for it, which frankly, is the point of this latest post. I'm not just a catch phrase stealing ho, but I also am just a girl, who realizes the error of her theiving ways, and would like to take the opportunity to give one of my best friends, his due credit. Just sayin.... :)

Yes, it was HIS catch phrase... and I know what you all are thinking, that he is not the ONE single person responsible for creating such a phrase, as "just sayin", and everyday other folks say it all the time. But see, my and my friend, well, we pretty much think we're the closest thing to perfection basically, and I'm gonna to ahead and say that YEAH, he coined it totally. And then, like the true great perfect friend that I am, I stole it.... just sayin. :)

But what does that phrase mean, really? "Just Sayin".... two little words. So very simple, yet all encompassing. Two word perfection, it seems. As wonderful as those words are, and the joy I get from plastering them all over myspace and facebook, forced me to take a closer look at what they actually mean. Seriously, 174 comments on a facebook update, all ending in "just sayin" has got to mean something! Such grandeur, really. To be able to throw those stolen words around, for others to also say and use. The desire for such coinage was just too great, to not really dig down deeper, and discover what they truly mean! What is it about those 2 little words, that I love (and now, so do all my friends) about them? Maybe because they weren't really mine? Maybe because I just like how they sound? I seriously don't know, I just like them is all. But I am thinking that maybe it's just that those 2 tiny words, can add so much to the end of a sentence, and make it, well, just feel good! An all inclusive, all encompassing catch phrase. And you stole it, right out from some innocent person. What a warm feeling... the victim feels they can never use their own thing again, but isn't that the entire point of stealing? And no, this isn't my attempt at serving some self discrimminatory blog posting about nothing. Really, it isn't. "Just Sayin", is the greatest thing of all. I can say it, you can say it, we can all say it!! Except my friend, he refuses to use it again. Just sayin.... :)

But, because it was kind of wrong (fine, I admit it!) of me to steal from a friend, and perform the ultimate betrayal upon him, I decided to make something good come out of it. So what I've done, is create a list, of my top 5 reasons of using just such a catch phrase, gifting to you, the masses, my creative and stolen wisdom, in the hopes that my theivery error can be forgiven. And no, I don't want ALL the credit, just a little is all. Sometimes, I can be such a monster. I really hope that this makes up for my bad behavior with my friend! So here goes... my top 5 list of times when you should absolutely, without a doubt, use the phrase, "Just Sayin"...

1. When being pulled over by the police after a night of heavy drinking and partying. When officer Billy Bob (forgive me, we live in the deep south, and all badge patrolling law enforcement is named in such a manner) requests to see your license and registration, give it to him. Don't argue. You can do that later, when your spouse posts your bail. Eventually, you know that Officer Bob is going to notice your slurred language, and the reeking of alcohol (or worse) on your breath. Your going to have to take the walk, spell the alphabet backwards (which honestly, no sober person can do either, whether from the south, OR the north, so don't feel too terrribly bad about failing this one, just sayin) and then you will have to blow into the big and scary... BREATHALIZER. But never fear, you do have rights, and you can invoke them at any time. Doesn't mean you won't go to jail, but just pointing out that you DO have them. After you fail your tests miserably, the one question the police love to ask us, is are we aware of what illegal event we are being accused of. IE, "Are you aware, Ms. Reding", that you were going 115 in a 35 mph zone? um, yes but I'm a Cullen?", or, "Ms. Reding, are you aware that you have not had insurance in the state of Louisiana since 1985? um, yes, but I also have a good explanation for that one, I just can't remember what it is because of my alcohol consumption?" Please step out of the car ma'mam..... So yes, they are going to ask you, if you have been drinking. Just tell em straight up, be a stand up guy/girl. Down here, we might be drunk, but we still have our southern manners, and we aren't liars! "Yep, officer Billy Bob, I have been drinking. I have the best friends, and we've been out all night long, partying it up drinking and dancing. Went to a few strip clubs, made a little money playing illegal poker, and well, yep, I'm inebriated and have been having a grand ole time!" After your spouse makes your bail, (if you aren't in divorce court yet) and you go before the judge on Monday morning..... and he states all your drunken highway confessions to Billy Boy back to you. You just take one look at the politically motivated and probaby paid for judge, and you say: "I know what I said, and I just want to say: I take NONE of it back, as a matter of fact, let me out of here so I can do it again, my friends are waiting with a 6 pack of Natural Light for me!! And by the way, I did NOT vote for you, Mr. Honorable, "Bought & Paid For" Judge, because you really freaking suck, and politics are full of hypocrites. Just like church on a Sunday morning! ..... SO!! IM JUST SAYIN!!!!" Yep, you're going down, but you will be remembered. And I'm just sayin... :)

2. When your kids ask you why there will be no Christmas presents this year from Santa.... you look them square in the eyes, and state: "Because you have been the absolute worst children this side of man kind. You don't listen, you don't pick up your toys, and frankly, you don't deserve presents this year. I'm tired of your incessant whining, and really, you're the reason I drink and got my 3rd DUI offense last night...." And as they plead, and beg for your parenting mercy, you just respond back with "La La La, I am not listening to your 5th grade immaturity.... just sayin!" :)

3. After realizing your Wal-Mart grocery total is $597.23, and you only have 3 bucks in your wallet, no explanation is actually needed in this fun scenerio. Give the checker your 3 bucks, ask for your change back in small unmarked bills, and state: "Just sayin!" Then attempt to walk out with your 6 buggies full of unpaid items. So classic, this one. Just sayin.... :)

4. Everyone who is a parent with an ADHD child, and probably some just plain ole parents, without the luxury of a medical diagnosed scape goat child, has recieved one of those dreaded phone calls from the school of attendance. Your child, has committed the ultimate (but usally funny) offense, and now you're being informed of his or her actions. As that black cloud looms overhead, and your mind drifts off from what the idiotic teacher is ranting about, (this time!) simply, and in true "just sayin style", ignore her! She's unworthy of your time. When she finishes, and asks if you are still on the line (and assuming that you ARE still on the line at this point) ask HER if she knows how perfect your child is, and how stupid and irritating she is for bothering you with such educational drama..... simply ask her: "Ms. Dumb A$$ So & So? Did you arrive on this planet from Mars? Are your true geneological parents aliens with big green heads? I'm not listening to your whining and complaining for one more hot second! You seriously are uneducated and were probably fired as a stripper for not being able to make your pimp enough money. Did you even go to "collige"? And now great, you're a teacher!!! So shut up talking about my precious angel! Just sayin!!!" :)

5. We've all done it. Spent all the hard earned money from our spouse, with no explanation other than "I Dunno?!" And so, in true marital argumentative style, the fight ensues. Allegations, and harmful words begin. Throwing out names like ice picks on a Saturday morning. Painful words, stabbing sort of words, evil sharp tongued slanderous accusations. Voices become raised, and the kids are threatening to call the law. Such wonderful parenting actions, really. And if it isn't the children scared for their own lives, it's probably the neighbors. But never fear, I have the ultimate solution for the masses out there, who have found themselves in just such a position. And honestly, haven't we all been in just such a position as this? Just one of the warm and wonderful perks of marriage bliss. But just stop right there. Cease your fightin' words! Simmer down a bit. Take a breath. Breathe out, breathe in....There is no need for such atrocities!! As you can probably guess by now, you know good and well what I'm going to tell you say. And you are right. Just those two simple, but outstandingly wonderful words. Look your spouse dead in the face, and state the following: "Honey, I love you (or not, just speaking generally here) and yes, I spent our entie savings on nothing but designer handbags, designer jeans, and 65 pairs of fantastic stilletto heels. No, I did not need all of these items. But, damnit, I WANTED them... (and then, you just smile, and proceed to add in the coup'de gras) See, the fact is, is that I wanted them!!!! And it's already done, and they ain't going back! (yes, down here in the south, we use the word "aint"... it means aren't. And for the record, we also use Ya'll, and we like it. So don't correct me, just sayin...) I bought them, and guess what else, I DONT CARE... JUST SAYIN!!!!!!" Yes, you will undeniably end up in divorce court after your 6 month waiting period is over with, but just think, you will be able to shop as much as you like, spend as much as you want, and never have to argue your need for a Prada handbag ever again. And as a matter of fact, you can purchase your designer, yet necessary, items, with your new found source of income: alimony and child support. That will show him a thing or two!!!! Just sayin..... :)


**writers note: after grasping the lovely concept, of "just sayin", please make sure you give credit where credit is absolutely due. It should read as follows: "To the humorously wise friend, who shall remain anonymous..."(and whom I just can't let out of the bag you see, because well, he has the most amazing eyes, and they might do the same thing to you, as they do to me....and I can't be having none of that! But who would also like to use his own prison shank, to watch his Ex bleed out in a Hello Kitty Blood bank, and is also as crazy as I am :) just sayin....) "yet, completely credit worthy and deserving" (who, I might add, can bust out a groove as good as me) "and all props shall be given, and dubbed forever more upon, the friend of the crazy and sometimes comically funny internet blogger, sometimes wild and beautiful, sometimes crazy... but always good for a laugh, the one and only Elizabeth (full name, used purely for effect) a certifiable catch phrase thief!" :)

And YEAH, IM JUST SAYIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!