Can I Have That To Go?

Things they just don't teach in public education....


1. The importance of small fluffy animals. Seriously, what makes them cute? Because they're all white, fluffy and furry? Hate to break it down for ya, but hamsters and gerbils are rodentia. Smaller versions of the ones who grace the sewers of our metropolitan metropolis'. The 8th wonder of the world... Got them 2 little teeth that nibble on things, beady evil eyes always looking at you, plotting... And you people pay money for them, stick em in a see through ball, and name em Heidi! I'm just really thinking, that a big dang gray rat scares the crap oughta me just as much as a small fluffy white one. You'd be better of with a Boa Constrictor, at least they'll hug you and stuff... Just sayin.


2. Speed limits... Pretty much I just don't get them, is all. I realize that innmates do need to pay their debt to society by making those signs, and ok, they do need something productive to do other than shanking their rival gang members out in tha yard... But can they just go back to plotting inside assasination attempts, and leave the speed limit signs out of it? Speed limit signs are purely suggestions anyway... I just wanna shank ya.


3. Seriously, I'm really tired of hearing the terms white and blue collar crime. Just saying, really, that ones choice of collar color should be a god given right in this nation by now. And, if I wanted to commit a W/C crime, while wearing a B/C, does this mean I'm exempt from prosecution? I'm thinking maybe! Look, I don't wanna hurt no folks up you see, I just want to take rich people's money for myself, because well, I just want it causin' I aint got none. And not even necessarily at gunpoint mind you, although that is a clever option. Possibly stick it in a hedge fund/illegal money market acc, or even just your standard off shore untraceable bank account. Maybe, just print out the dang dough myself which eliminates the need for the whole armed robbery plan "B". I've just been thinking about the loopholes of illegal crime, and its solutions, and I'm quite convinced that I can't be convicted of a white collar crime if I'm wearing a blue one...it just doesn't match up, and hey, there is nothing wrong with sewing your Bubba name patch on a white shirt, and at Pep Boys, its red collar any how...


. Teenagers and LOL - why, oh why, must teens or kids, and ok, Bill Clinton speak in text language? I really don't get this one. It's as if every sentence in society has just become a confusing acronym. But even more disturbing is talking with such stupidity. I just wanna snatch the texting language pleasure from their vacant little eyes. Example: I go into McDonalds to order a # 6 the other day. "WTM, WICGFYT?" (Um, excuse me?) "IS, WTMWYWLYOFTB??" (Long pause, and a glance around, is anyone else hearing this?) "M! IYGOYSFT, CIAGTFTC!!!" (Spot a teen by the drink machine, chat her up and ask her if she can translate this acronymic mess...) Ma'mam, she said, this is what she's telling you: "Welcome To McDonalds, What I Can Get For You Today?" Then she said, "I Said! Welcome To McDonalds, What You Would Like Your Order For To Be?!" And finally she said, "Ma'mam! Iffin You Gonna Order Some Food Today, Cuz I Aint Got Time For This Crap!" Hmmm, ok then. I thought for just a hot second and responed back, with...LUYLB, IWJROPT, FJTCAMACAK. IWSTHLF20Y, AIAHADCF15OE. RIUK! Which translates into " Listen Up You Little Brat, I Was Just Released On Parole Today, For Jumping The Counter At McDonalds And Cuttin A Kid. I Was Sentenced To Hard Labor For 20 Years, And I Aint Had A Double Cheeseburger For 15 Of Em. Ring It Up Kid." And so my translation friendly teen looked at her, and said uhhh, this lady wants a #6 with a coke, quickly. OMG! LOL! WTF! LMAO... gimme my shank.


5. Hmmm, healthcare, big brother, crime and political reform. But this is just my solution, and is merely an opinion from a girl with a knack for ideas. At birth, from the minute we grasp that initial puff of air into our healthy lungs, I think we should all be given valium. Babies would never cry, which in turn makes for less child abuse, 'cause mommy and daddy are happy. Every Monday, you get your new valium script from the pharm farm, fo free. Medicated adults make for less crime, 'cause mommy and daddy are happy. Nobody would steal, cause we're too gleeful to give a crap that we're broke and homeless. Automatic crime prevention, mommy and daddy are happy. Big brother can watch all they want, 'cause we wouldn't care, we're high from society. But its doubtful they'd see anything anyway, they're on the hook like rest of us. Healthcare? Society is dazed and floatin' on pills, who gives a cares about healthcare?? What did you say? The president is who? No matter, 'cause we're flippin tow up, we don't care, just keep giving us our pipe! Obama is what color?? Duuuuuude, I've never heard of black, right on...is he gonna take Monday Medication Mania day away? Then who gives a darn. We don't care, we're just high on government crack. Mommy and daddy are still happy! So you can see, that by giving everyone in this land of the free, daily doses of valium, we can eliminate child abuse, bloody healthcare reform, political beaurocratic bull, and crime, problem solved!

Pretty much just my thoughts for today, is all. I just want a # 6 with a coke, some valium and a shank. To go.